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Something that has been really hard to admit to myself over the years is how much of a chameleon I really have been.

Growing up bi-racial with parents who struggled with their own identities and only knowing my mother from my caucasian side of the family I struggled to accept or know who I really was. This led me to go mix in different circles as best I could by mostly pretending to be somebody I wasn’t. Sometimes I enjoyed it but most of the time I was around people where I felt really uncomfortable and who for the most part didn’t really like me. To be honest I dont’ blame them because I didn’t really like me either.

Why cant people just accept me for me? Well how could anyone if I couldn’t really accept me. Certain life events forced me to face this part of myself and discover and appreciate the real me. I learnt that I am actually quite a dorky, awkward and quirky person. I realised the people I thought I wanted to be my friends and who appeared ‘cool’ I didn’t actually like or relate to beyond a surface level. Most importantly I discovered my values and what makes up the very essence of who I am. Wow I actually really love this person. She’s clumsy, funny, constantly making mistakes but forever evolving and becoming a better person than she was yesterday. What more could I ask for from myself?

Since I began to enjoy my own company and stop seeking out the company of just anybody I have attracted like minded, unique and super inspiring people into my life. Learning to simply be instead of constantly trying and morphing into other people, I have effortlessly welcomed what I had always been looking for into my life.

Have you ever pretended to be somebody you wasn’t to gain someones approval? What did you have to sacrifice in order to have that? Have you found that its much easier to simply be ones self?